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Make mistakes count
By Ridgely Goldsborough
A while back, one of my brothers made an error at work, which cost a client
a bunch of money. They leveled accusations, pointed fingers, ranted and
raved, filed a lawsuit and after a failed attempt to settle the dispute,
ended up in court—a typical insurance company battle. Oh well, stuff
happens.
On the one hand, I take no issue with the process. Insurance providers
charge periodic premiums to a large number of policy holders and aggregate
significant amounts of capital. When a policy holder has a problem, the
insurance company allocates a portion of those funds to resolving the
issue—classic risk management.
From an economic standpoint, absent a major catastrophe through which
too many policy holders claim simultaneous losses, the model works. My
challenge lies on the human side.
Why do we continue to cling to this barbaric need to vilify, castigate
and put down those who make mistakes, cause them (and ourselves) to feel
unworthy, dirty or bad?
“Did you hear that so-and-so did such-and-such? Oooohhh, big trouble
in that house.”
Those who lead full lives will pay the price of a higher number of botches
and bungles. Even the most sheltered existence will include its fair share
of lapses and slip-ups. The inevitability of mistake-making ought to cause
us to reconsider our perspective.
How about this?
| Step One: |
Admit the error. |
| Step Two: |
Take responsibility for it. |
| Step Three: |
Ponder and reflect on the situation. What might we have changed?
What could we do differently? |
| Step Four: |
Make a determination to avoid the same slight next time. |
| Step Five: |
Move on. Go out and make an imprint on the world, armed with more
maturity, more seasoning and an increased ability to contribute. |
If we follow a mistake with personal responsibility and a renewed determination
to shift the behavior when we face similar circumstances, we convert it
into a lesson. If we choose to dwell in the fault or mentally beat up
on ourselves, we stay stuck in the problem instead of focused on solutions—a
guaranteed ticket to bitterness, regret and rigidity.
Interesting how study after study tells us that we learn most during the
ages of 3 and 7, that our brain expands and grows exponentially during
this period. How coincidental that during these years we make the most
mistakes.
Perhaps we should shift our viewpoint a tad, celebrate our humanity, embrace
our imperfections, welcome the learning that derives from challenging
defects or deficiencies and recognize the value of a good fall.
I don’t know about you, but I seem to mess up on a fairly regular
basis, often in a pretty big way and I don’t see that varying much
anytime soon. I guess that means I’m on a high learning gradient.
Besides, most of us find perfection very boring.
| Ridgely began scribbling as soon as his fingers
could curl around a pen. So began a love affair, interrupted periodically
by schooling, business and any number of self-initiated distractions
to mask the fear of pursuing his childhood dream to be a writer.
The journey took him through Law School, a number of private companies,
going public, a large merger and back to his desk, a computer with
a keyboard and the daily challenge of following the dream. Along
the way, Ridgely founded and/or acted as publisher for Network Marketing
Lifestyles magazine, Domain Street magazine and the Upline Journal
along with dozens of books, audio and video materials. He writes
several books per year, in addition to The Daily Column. Ridgely
holds an undergraduate degree from The University of Virginia, a
law degree from Whittier College School of Law, is fluent in five
languages and has spoken to audiences throughout Europe, Southeast
Asia, Mexico and North America. www.aviewfromtheridge.com
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