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      Choice More than Chance Determines Our Circumstance 
        By Jim Clemmer 
         
        "What's the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked, completely 
        surprised. "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose 
        control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by 
        fate. That's the world's greatest lie." — Paulo Coelho, The 
        Alchemist 
         
        The day was a winter wonderland as our family drove through the 
        country to a Christmas open house at a friend's home. A fresh snowfall 
        had left the trees, houses, and barns covered with a inch of magical white 
        powder. The day was cold, but in the brilliant sunshine the snow sparkled 
        across the fields and glittered as it wrapped the buildings and trees 
        in it's twinkling blanket. It was like driving through a Currier and Ives 
        painting. At the open house, I babbled on about the wonder and beauty 
        of our 30-minute drive through such an enchanted postcard scene. Another 
        guest who just arrived from a 90-minute drive shut me up when he snarled, 
        "Some winter wonderland! The slush and spray from the highway was 
        constantly smearing our windshield. It drove me nuts. I hate driving in 
        that crap." 
         
        Which view is reality, the slush on the windshield or the winter wonderland 
        beyond? They are both reality. Sometimes we'll hear people say "he's 
        not living in the real world" or "that's not reality." 
        But who's view of "reality" are we talking about? Philosophers 
        have argued for centuries that there is no objective reality, only perceptions. 
        There's my reality, your reality, and some else's reality. Most so-called 
        "facts" are open to interpretation and highly dependent upon 
        what's being read into the data. We don't see the world as it is; we see 
        the world as we are. Which is why George Bernard Shaw advised, "Better 
        keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must 
        see the world." 
         
        It's all about balance. I can "don't worry, be happy," whistle 
        a merry tune, think positive, and focus only on the bright side of life. 
        But if I ignore the slush on the windshield, I could end up in the ditch 
        crushed against one of those wonderland trees with the magical snow burying 
        my mangled body. Problems and "ugly realities" won't go away 
        by painting a happy face on them. But too often our problems overwhelm 
        us. We let our problems trap us deep inside our own "reality rut." 
        As long as we're stuck there, we can't see out of the rut to the possibilities 
        beyond. Given the festive season and a comfortable drive in the country, 
        that day I could easily see beyond the slush on the windshield to the 
        beauty of the winter wonderland beyond. I don't do that often enough. 
        It's all too easy to focus on and curse the slush on the windshield. Dwelling 
        on our problems rather than our possibilities comes all too naturally. 
        We often expect the worst and than say "see, I told you that would 
        happen" when it happens. Too often we choose to curse the darkness 
        rather than light a candle. 
      
         
      
         
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             Excerpted from Jim's fourth bestseller, Growing 
              the Distance: Timeless Principles for Personal, Career, and Family 
              Success. View the book's unique format and content, Introduction 
              and Chapter One, and feedback showing why nearly 100,000 copies 
              are now in print at www.growingthedistance.com. 
              Jim's new companion book to Growing the Distance is The 
              Leader's Digest: Timeless Principles for Team and Organization Success. 
              Jim Clemmer is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat 
              leader, and management team developer on leadership, change, customer 
              focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. His web site is www.clemmer.net. 
               
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